I spent today looking at the views that are now a part of my everyday life and reflecting on how blessed I am and thankful God lead me down the path that he did. I also spent today crying...a lot.
I recently took a break from social media. It may come as a surprise to some while completely obvious to others, as to why I disappeared. If you haven't been living under your rock for the past couple of days, chances are you've seen the reason for my social media departure. I've tried to let it go, I've prayed for guidance, and I've decided it's time for me to share my story.
Here's what started it all.....
My dad passed away when I was 16 from cancer and before he died he pre payed flowers so i could receive them every year on my birthday. Well this is my 21st birthday flowers and the last. Miss you so much daddy. 💜 pic.twitter.com/vSafKyB2uO— Bailey Sellers (@SellersBailey) November 24, 2017
....but not the "dad" you read about. There's a few other kids floating around who have the same story as me but are choosing to live a lie and let the media paint a picture of a man I knew from the first breath I took. That man might have existed, I'm not certain honestly, because that man wasn't a father to me. He was a disappointment. An estranged figure. A man who never showed up when he was supposed to. A man who left me when I was a baby and never really came back. A man who could've been my dad....but wasn't.
I've spent the better part of the last four years thinking about how much he let me down and how much he truly did disappoint me. I'm damaged, no doubt. I'm certain I have those unforsaken "daddy issues" everyone makes fun of.
I'll leave it at this, I'm happy for Bailey and her experience with him as her father and "best friend." But while he was allegedly planning all these flowers and cards for her on his death bed, he was lying to everyone and saying he was trying to reach out to me. He didn't and hadn't for 10+ years.
Not everything is how you see it in the media. I learned that more than ever the past few days. I'm thankful for my story and my path and where it's lead me. Truthfully, I'm happier than ever and have ZERO regrets in life. I've found the man of my dreams, my place in life, and most importantly, I've found out who I am along the way.
So, here's the mantra I created for D+G nearly two years ago. It means more today than ever.
"We all have a story, this one's mine...."
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